By John Bul
March 17, 2011
The human brain is an amazing instrument. Much like a supercomputer, it has the capacity to store and recall vast amounts of information. From the moment of our birth, we begin to store information: sounds, touch, heat, cold, pain, a soothing voice or a warm embrace. We soon learn how to use that information to solicit a reaction, or to let others know our wants and needs. As we age and develop, our character, belief systems and morals are a compilation of our thoughts, experiences, environment, community and family influence.
Unfortunately, the input received isn’t always constructive or in our best interest. Resentment, prejudice, and/or unresolved issues are sometimes passed on to us subconsciously, subliminally or directly. These can be passed on from generation to generation, or develop in a much shorter span of time. Either way, some may accept them as truth or factual even if they aren’t. It can sometimes be hard to recognize or realize the negative impact on others. Perhaps it is time to break the chain.
- If we are fortunate enough to realize, and more importantly accept our misconception-¦Let it go!
- If we have been a participant in perpetuating negative thought and action-¦Let it go!
- If we carry a grudge, or hold on to resentment past or present (ours’ or someone else)-¦Let it go!
As difficult as it may be, we sometimes need to assess negative situations and relationships and accept (or choose not to) them for what they are. Stress can be detrimental to our health, resulting in high blood pressure, heart disease or aggravating existing conditions. We instinctively “hold onto” and strive to preserve our situations and relationships at any cost. This may prove to be damaging or even lethal if we choose not to consider the alternatives.
A first step could be to limit your exposure. Time and distance can therapeutic, or even helpful in conflict resolution. If that doesn’t work, severing ties may be the best option. It is important to let the “antagonizer ” know why. If there is any chance that the situation can be improved, all involved need to understand what will be required to restore the relationship. If this cannot be overcome-¦Let it go! This can become complicated if stepping away results in losing contact with a group-¦be it family, community or a work team. In my experience, the “group” will reconcile after time, allowing the “antagonizer” to make his or her own decision.
When using your computer, you have the option of striking the delete key. There is a prompt that asks: Are you sure you want to delete the selected item(s)? If you respond “yes,” the item is gone forever. Our brains work differently, whereas thoughts cannot be permanently deleted. My suggestion is this: we can outfit our brains with a “Let it go!” key. We don’t have the ability to delete or forget our thoughts, however we do have something that no computer is capable of-¦we can forgive. The act of forgiving elevates a person - it never diminishes. That doesn’t mean that we should excuse transgressions, or condone negative, abusive or unacceptable behavior. We should learn from the experience. If we choose to tolerate the circumstance without changing our involvement, we transition from victim to volunteer. Have you ever tried to change someone else? How’s that working for you?
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” – Oprah Winfrey
John W. Bul, CMRP-¨, is commercial manager of Michigan Operations for Webasto Roof Systems Inc.-¨-¨, and chairman of the Board of Directors – Society of Maintenance and Reliability Professionals (SMRP) Detroit / Windsor Chapter.-¨-¨ You can reach him at [email protected].